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(A) Scary Movie: Whatever number y'all on now!

NUNyaZ
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Synopsis
just a teaser: sn(m)L Extra Scene: "The Real Special K" INT. MIB HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT The headquarters is bustling with agents and blinking alien tech. ET—now revealed as a sharp-eyed, no-nonsense human woman in a black suit—storms through the main hall. AGENT J (Will Smith) and AGENT K stand by a high-tech coffee machine, arguing about paperwork. ET slams her badge on the table, startling them. ET (voice raised, fed up): Alright, listen up, Agents! You’ve been looking for aliens in all the wrong places. I’ve been right here, hiding in plain sight, And y’all still can’t see what’s right in front of your faces! AGENT J (Will Smith) (grinning, trying to lighten the mood): Whoa, slow down, Special K! You need to chill, girl—grab a donut or somethin’. ET (pointing at J, fierce): Don’t call me Special K like I’m some cereal prize, I’m the real Special K— Not ‘cause I’m special needs, But ‘cause I never got special treatment, And you still don’t get it! AGENT K (deadpan): You’re making a scene, K. We’re just doing our jobs. ET (rolling her eyes): Doing your jobs? You keep shooting the wrong n-itch, b! Every time the truth shows up, You’re aiming at the messenger, Not the message. AGENT J (raising an eyebrow): So what, you’re saying you’re not an alien? ET (smirking): I’m as human as you are, J. Difference is, I see what you refuse to see. You’re so busy chasing little green men, You miss the big picture— The real invasion is ignorance, And you’re letting it run wild! AGENT K (sighing): We follow orders, K. That’s what keeps the world spinning. ET (stepping closer, voice commanding): Maybe it’s time to stop spinning in circles. Maybe it’s time to wake up and see who’s really pulling the strings. You want to save the world? Start by opening your damn eyes. She grabs her badge, turns on her heel, and storms out, leaving J and K speechless. The other agents stare, some finally looking thoughtful. AGENT J (quietly, to K): Man… I think she just neuralyzed my whole brain. FADE OUT.
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Chapter 1 - My Daughter and the Blinkie GhostOpening Scene: The Gift

My Daughter and the Blinkie Ghost

Opening Scene: The Gift

Some kids see dead people. My daughter? She just sees everything—like, she could spot a spider on the ceiling from three rooms away, or the last cookie I tried to hide behind the flour. But it's not just cookies and spiders. Ever since she was little, she's had a knack for seeing "the other side." Or, as she puts it, "the people who don't blink right."

It's not like she talks to them much. She just sees them. And sometimes, that's enough to make your skin crawl.

The Blinkie Ghost Arrives

It started at her dad's house. Every time she visited, she'd come back with a new story.

"Mom, the blinkie ghost was there again," she'd say, eyes wide, "and it got reeeeally close to my face. Like, nose-hair close. Then it just… blinked. Once. And poof, gone."

"Did it say anything?" I'd ask, pretending to be casual while clutching my coffee like a life preserver.

"Nope. Just blinked. And then it was gone. I think it's shy."

That blink was like a warning. Like the ghost was saying, "Hey, don't blink or you'll miss me." Creepy, right? But also kind of hilarious, because who blinks just once and then disappears? That's like ghost etiquette or something.

The Imaginary Friend Files

Now, my daughter's had her share of imaginary friends. There was Lily—her own name, which should've been a red flag, but I was a first-time mom. Lily the friend was obsessed with seatbelts.

"Buckle up, Lily!" my daughter would say, "We don't want to be ghost pancakes!"

One day, she came to me, serious as a judge. "Mom, Lily and I got into a fight. She made fun of my coat and left."

I thought, "Okay, maybe she's outgrowing imaginary friends." But five minutes later, she's staring out the window.

"Oh, Lily's back. She brought her parents. Their house burned down, so they're staying in the field."

I considered moving. Immediately.

Babysitter Massacre: Louisiana Edition

But nothing—nothing—compares to what happened in Louisiana. I went through six babysitters in three months. Six.

It always started the same way: my daughter, playing quietly with her toys, sweet as pie. Then, out of nowhere, she'd freeze. Her face would go blank, eyes wide and unblinking. She'd stand up, slow as a zombie in a bad horror movie, and walk—no, glide—across the room.

She'd stop right in front of the babysitter, look them dead in the eye, and whisper, in a voice straight out of The Exorcist:

"You're going to die soon."

Cue the babysitter sprinting out the door, never to be seen again. I started leaving a tip jar by the door labeled "For Therapy."

Honestly, I love her.

The Ghostly Social Life

It wasn't just at her dad's. Relatives started calling, saying she was scaring their kids.

"She told Audrey a ghost had its hand on her shoulder," my sister whispered, like she was reporting a crime.

"Don't worry," I said, "Ghosts aren't scary. They're just… blinkie."

But the blinkie ghost wasn't just a one-time thing. It seemed to follow her around, especially when she was at places connected to her dad's side of the family. The blink was always there, like a blinking cursor waiting for her to type a message she couldn't read.

Family Drama (and Ghostly Warnings)

Here's the thing: The blinkie ghost only showed up at her dad's house. Coincidence? I think not.

Her brother, who had Opinions about her being bi until he got his own girlfriend, was no help. He was too busy deleting his browser history after his stepmom caught him "researching" things.

"Let me show you how to really delete it," I told him. "And tell your sister, too. Ghosts might be watching."

It's funny how family drama mixes with ghost drama. Like, one minute you're dealing with teenage angst, the next you're explaining to your kid why a ghost with no name is blinking at her like she's the star of a horror movie.

The Final Blink

One night, my daughter came to me, serious as ever.

"Mom, I think the blinkie ghost is trying to warn me."

"About what?"

She leaned in, whispering, "Don't blink. Like, literally. You never know what you'll miss. Or what'll get you."

I laughed, but I slept with the lights on anyway.

Epilogue: Lessons Learned

Ghosts are weird.

Kids are weirder.

Babysitters are braver than we give them credit for.

Family is the weirdest of all.

And if you ever see a blinkie ghost, just blink back. Maybe it just wants to play.

THE END