(The Ultimate Cup of Coffee)
The office was quiet.
Too quiet.
Elian hunched over a whiteboard covered in scribbled quantum diagrams and lattice-phase calculations, fingers twitching as he tried to simulate nano-capacitor decay rates in his head. His brain felt like a fried circuit. His eyes were bloodshot. His stomach had mutinied hours ago.
Jenna leaned back in her chair, sipping coffee from a cracked mug labeled: If you're not over-caffeinated, you're underperforming.
"Elian," she said slowly, watching him rock back and forth like a caffeinated monk. "You need to take a break."
"No time," he muttered, eyes wild. "Must optimize battery discharge efficiency. Must—must not collapse."
She rolled her eyes and tossed him a protein bar. He caught it on instinct and immediately forgot it existed.
"You haven't slept in three days."
"I powered through."
"You haven't eaten anything solid in two."
"I am become pure thought."
"Elian."
He blinked and finally looked up.
Jenna gave him a smirk. "You have a science system that can generate optimized blueprints and theories for almost anything, right?"
"…Yeah?"
"Then stop being a martyr and use it to make us the perfect cup of coffee. You know. Something to keep you from turning into a science ghoul. I want maximum energy, zero crash, maybe even brain benefits. Something illegal in at least three countries."
He stared at her like she had just discovered a hidden truth of the universe.
"…That's genius."
System Query: Beverage Optimization – Caffeine Variant
[Parameters Set:
Maximum mental focus
Long-lasting energy release
Zero jitters or crash
Enhanced neuroplasticity
Antioxidant & mood-boosting effects
Nootropic synergy
Delicious]
[Processing…]
[Theoretical Formula Generated: "Neurobrew Prime"]
[Required Ingredients List Ready for Procurement]
[Warning: One compound is regulated in the EU. Alternative available.]
Three Hours Later
Elian's lab had transformed into a mad scientist's kitchen. Boxes arrived in waves: imported wild civet coffee beans (ethically sourced), lion's mane mushroom extract, L-theanine, nano-encapsulated CoQ10, flavonoid-rich cacao, Himalayan salt, a cold-pressed algae oil from Iceland, and a mystery vial labeled "Bioactive Monoamine Modulator – Do Not Shake."
Jenna leaned against the counter as he set everything up like a chemist prepping for a Nobel prize in breakfast beverages.
"You're actually doing this."
"I'm optimizing centuries of trial-and-error and half-baked barista rituals into a mathematically perfect neurochemical symphony," Elian said, holding a measuring spoon like a wand.
"Just don't blow up the coffee machine."
He fired up a precision induction kettle, adjusted the water to exactly 93.6°C, and started grinding beans using a ceramic burr grinder optimized for uniformity by the system's calculations.
Jenna watched as he mixed the supplements and extracts in a glass beaker like he was performing alchemy. The lab filled with the aroma of rich coffee, dark chocolate, and… something vaguely medicinal.
"I feel like we should be wearing hazmat suits," she said, eyeing the shimmering liquid.
He poured the finished product into two matte-black cups.
"Behold," Elian said reverently, "Neurobrew Prime."
They clinked cups like two adventurers discovering fire.
Ten Minutes Later
"…Oh my God," Jenna whispered.
Her pupils were slightly dilated. Her typing speed had tripled. She was currently juggling three windows of scientific papers, a budget spreadsheet, and was halfway through reorganizing the lab's entire file system.
"I can see numbers in color," she muttered.
Elian stared at the whiteboard. "I just solved three bottlenecks in the capacitor model and figured out how to optimize our AI codebase. Also, I feel like I could win a dance battle against gravity."
"Do we… patent this too?"
"Maybe after we make sure our hearts don't explode."
A system notification popped behind his eyes:
System Notification (Private)
[Innovation Registered: "Functional Nootropic Beverage"]
[+1 System Point]
[New Branch Unlocked: Applied Biochemistry]
[Research Suggestion: Custom Nutrition for Cognitive Optimization]
Elian grinned. "Okay. Now we publish papers."
Jenna's eyes gleamed with unnatural energy. "Now we publish papers."