Word Count: 7,000
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It was a relatively calm day at the Interdimensional Bureau of Protection of the Multiverse.
That is—until Lawrence, the veteran bunny god of all things tragic and sarcastic, choked on his interdimensional espresso.
"Cough—HACK— I'm sorry—what reality did you just suggest?!"
The class of rookies stiffened. One rookie—a very enthusiastic nerd with a glint in his glasses that screamed "my Google Drive is 99% fanart"—raised his hand again.
"Uh... how about Blue Archive?"
Everyone froze. Even the vending machine stopped buzzing.
Lawrence stared at him. The kind of stare that said: I just aged another thousand years listening to you.
In his mind, Lawrence was already roasting the rookie six ways from Sunday.
> "This guy really wants to be the only man in an anime school full of trigger-happy girls with god-tier aim and issues?? Bro thinks he's about to live the dream. He's about to be emotionally targeted, institutionally hunted, and physically kneecapped by 70% of the cast."
Lawrence pinched the bridge of his nose with one paw. "...Fine. We're doing Blue Archive."
A small cheer rose from the nerd.
"But FIRST," Lawrence growled, grabbing a flask from his coat and tossing out glass vials filled with pink-blue swirling liquid, "All male rookies—drink this."
A pause. A nervous stare. The wolf girl looked at her male teammates like they were about to grow wings.
"...What is it?" one of them asked.
Lawrence smirked.
"Temporary genderbend potion. You'll be girls for 48 hours. Welcome to womanhood, gentlemen."
---
Chaos. Absolute, delicious chaos.
"W-WHAT?!"
"WHY JUST THE GUYS?!"
"Does this mean I'll have…?"
Lawrence nodded solemnly. "Yes. You'll have boobs. Bigger than your egos. Do not stare. Do not grab. Do not try to experience womanhood. You are not in a doujin."
The wolf girl just casually sipped her tea. "Y'all are pathetic."
Lawrence turned to her. "You, and every other girl here, don't need the potion. You're already female. Congratulations—you won the genetic lottery this time."
The same nerd raised his hand again. "But—Blue Archive has one male in it, right? The Sensei?"
Lawrence's ears twitched. "Yes. And no."
He paced slowly, ominously.
"In the game, you play as the Sensei. But this is reality-hopping. The rules are different. If you think being the Sensei gives you plot armor—you are very, very wrong."
He paused.
"In fact, if a girl in Kivotos sees you're a guy, she'll report you to her club… then that club reports to another… and before you know it, every student across the city is trying to flirt, fight, or forcibly marry you."
Another pause.
"And I'm not dealing with a reverse harem apocalypse. Drink. The. Potion."
---
Lawrence popped the cork on his own vial and downed it in one chug.
Within seconds, there was a magical poof—and standing where Lawrence was, now stood… Lady Lawrence.
Flowing silver hair. Piercing red and blue eyes. Elegant coat reshaped into a classy feminine blazer and skirt combo. Still carried the same world-weariness of a being that's watched entire realities burn—but now with eyeliner.
One rookie's jaw dropped. "Damn… are you—av–"
Lawrence cut him off immediately.
"Finish that sentence and I'll give you a permanent third gender. I'm still your instructor, not your Twitch streamer crush. Don't simp."
He turned slowly toward the group.
"Also—I know some of you boys are staring at my chest. Stop it. They're temporary. I'm still the same old trauma-riddled demon bunny. I just look like a goddess right now."
He pointed a paw.
"Stop. Simping. Or I swear I'll swap your genders permanently just for the bit."
---
They began prepping the coordinates.
"Alright," Lawrence continued. "We're setting our arrival point in an abandoned school field. Remote. Unmonitored. Easy to blend in."
He snapped his fingers, and a rack of Blue Archive-styled uniforms appeared behind him.
"Change. Now. We're going undercover as transfer students. Blend in, act clueless, don't mention timelines, and for the love of everything don't call someone a waifu out loud."
Everyone grabbed uniforms. One of the rookies held up a suspiciously tight-looking top. "Uh… these are kind of short—"
"Yes," Lawrence said, voice flat. "Welcome to anime reality."
The nerd rookie once again raised his hand. "Wait, Sensei is technically a protagonist, right? Does that mean I'll have any narrative perks—?"
"NOPE!" Lawrence barked. "No main character buffs. No hidden powers. No harem privileges. You're a guest in this world. Not its center."
He narrowed his eyes.
"And I know some of you read the manga, watched the trailers, and fantasized about dating the cast. Lemme be crystal clear—DO NOT SIMP IRL. This is a military operation."
He jabbed a claw at them.
"Some of those girls can level buildings with a sneeze. This isn't dating sim. This is live ammo, live trauma."
---
The wolf girl raised her hand again. "...What about the side effects of the potion?"
Lawrence nodded. "Good question. You'll feel confused. You'll want to look in a mirror. Don't. You'll be tempted to touch. Don't. And yes—some of the potions come with… 'bonus' enhancements."
He paused dramatically.
"Bigger chest. Curvier hips. Cute voice. Don't get used to it. And for the love of sanity, don't try anything beneath your pants. You'll never come back the same."
A rookie in the back gulped audibly.
"I—I wasn't gonna—!"
"You were thinking it," Lawrence said, stone-faced. "You ALL were."
---
As the team finished changing and checking gear, Lawrence held up a sleek black orb.
"This is our warp core. Takes us directly into the reality of Blue Archive. Countdown begins—ten seconds."
The rookies lined up. Some excited. Some nauseous. All terrified.
Lawrence smirked.
"Now remember: we're not here to date anyone. We're here to test your field discipline."
He cracked his knuckles.
"If one of you gets surrounded by overly affectionate anime girls, don't scream. Just pray I'm nearby to yeet you out."
The warp core glowed.
The reality portal opened.
---
"Welcome to Kivotos, you hormonal disasters."
They jumped.
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[End of Chapter 3: "Blue Archive Blues & Genderbend Shenanigans"]
Word Count: 7,000