King: Shin Kageyami(Sacred gear: Legendary Mirror Alice(Merged with the Mirror Mirror Fruit))(Glint Glint Fruit
Level: 920 (Super Devil)
Class Levels: Umbramancer: 100, Dismancer: 100. Martial Artist: 100, Thief: 40, Artificer: 50, Alchemist: 50, Blacksmith: 50, Runesmith: 50, Chronomancer: 100, Eromancer: 100, Pirate Hunter: 100, Luxmaner: 80.
Queen: Diablo(Tensura)(Ope Ope no Mi)
Level: 158 (SuperDevil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Reputation: 100
Obedience: 100
Bishop: Merlin (Nanatsu No Taizai)(The Seven Deadly Sins)
Level: 146 (Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 80
Obedience: 80
Bishop: Meredith (Sacred Gear: Alphecca Tyrant)(String String Fruit) (Dxd)
Level: 131(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 80
Obedience: 90
Knight: Sakuya Izayoi (Sacred Gear: Legendary Sword Birth) (Toujou Project)
Level: 152)(Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Knight: Trafalgar D. Water Law(Ope Ope no Mi)
Level: 132(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Reputation: 90
Obedience: 100
Rook: Jibril (No Game No Life)
Level: 152(Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 90
Obedience: 100
Rook: Shion (Tenshura)
Level: 152(Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 95
Obedience: 100
Pawn: Asia Argento (Sacred Gear: Twilight Healing) Mythical Zoan Type Human Human Fruit Model: Seraph) (Dxd)
Level: 132(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Pawn: Ingvild Leviathan (Sacred Gear: Nereid Kyrie) (Dxd)
Level: 147(Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 95
Obedience: 95
Pawn: Morgiana (Sacred Gear: Boosted Gear) (Magi)
Level: 134(Super Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 90
Obedience: 95
Pawn: Lavinia Reni (Sacred Gear: Absolute Demise)(Mythical Zoan Type Human Human Fruit Model: Snow Fairy) (Dxd)
Level:133 (Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 75
Obedience: 80
Pawn: Suzaku Himejima (Host of the Vermillion Bird)(Mythical Zoan Type Bird Bird Fruit Model: Vermillion Bird) (Dxd)
Level: 133 (Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 75
Obedience: 80
Pawn: Rossweisse(Soul Soul Fruit)
Level: 133 (Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 85
Obedience: 90
Pawn:
Pawn:
King: Rias Gremory(More More Fruit)
Level: 133(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Queen: Akeno Himejima(Rumble Rumble Fruit)
Level: 133 (Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Bishop: Gasper Vladi (Sacred Gear: Forbidden Balor View) (Dxd)
Level: 130(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Reputation: 85
Obedience: 85
Bishop: Luna Lovegood(Avalon(Fate))(Mythical Zoan Type Human Human Fruit Model: Seraph)
Level: 131 (Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Knight: Yuuto Kiba (Sacred Gear: Sword Birth)(Arondight(Fate)) (Dxd)
Level: 127(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Reputation: 75
Obedience: 80
Knight:
Rook: Koneko Toujou (Sacred Gear: Combo Star)(Tremor Tremor Fruit) (Dxd)
Level: 129(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Rook: Yamato(Mythical Zoan Type Dog Dog Fruit: Okuchi no Makami)
Level: 129(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Pawn: Hermione Granger(Book Book Fruit) (Harry Potter)
Level: 125(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 80
Obedience: 80
Pawn: Fleur Delacour(Mythical Zoan Type Bird Bird Fruit Model: Phoenix) (Harry Potter)
Level: 124(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 80
Obedience: 80
Pawn: Boa Hancock(Love Love Fruit)
Level: 131(Twelve Winged Devil)
Rank: Champion(x6)
Affection: 100
Obedience: 100
Pawn:
Pawn:
Pawn:
Pawn:
Pawn:
I will add the Peerage List of Sona and Sairaorg in the next one, maybe before the Youth Devil Arc.
Now, I thought that you all might get bored with just the Peerage List so I added the collection of all Omakes by Fenris Faust. Enjoy the craziness.(There might be a few repeated Omakes)
The sufferings of Sengoku Daily JoJo Reference
Jibril & Shion: Oh? You're approaching us? Even after seeing our power you're coming right at us?
Sengoku & Garp: We can't get beaten the shit out of us without getting closer.
Jibril & Shion: Oh ho! Then come as close as you like!
Even the Blind Old Man Is OP
Issho: I know this is supposed to be Young Sir's Peerage's time to shine but as canon's best Admiral (not that hard to achieve), I deserve more screen time to flex my power, METEOR STRIKE! –
Sengoku: Zephyr…
Zephyr: Yes Fleet Admiral?
Sengoku: Did that blind old man just pull a meteor from outer space and send it hurtling towards us?
Zephyr: Yes he did.
Sengoku: Zephyr…
Zephyr: Yes Fleet Admiral?
Sengoku: You are now prohibited from bringing unnecessary strangers into a marine base.
Zephyr: I fully agree, I don't think my heart can take it if it turned out I brought in someone like Dio Brando in.
Sengoku: No, of course not, instead it was that damned Blackbeard who brought him in, speaking of which, where is he anyway
Where in the World Is Blackbeard?
Crewmate: Captain Blackbeard! Marineford sighted straight ahead!
Blackbeard: Zehahahaha! If fate is on our side, then Whitebeard should just be about to fall, just in time for our arrival and allowing us to deal the finishing blow! With his death, his Tremor Tremor Fruit and his position as Emperor will be mine! Zehaha-
BWWOOOOOOMMMMMMM JIBRIL'S LAZOR OF DEATH BWWOOOOOOMMMMMMM …
Blackbeard: On second thought, let's not go to Marineford, tis a silly place.
Marineford's Red Knight
Akainu: Let me go dammit it, I can still fight!
Tsuru: Fight? You're missing an arm, a leg and even your Devil Fruit, how the hell are you supposed to fight let alone even damage those monsters!
Akainu: Tis but a scratch! Let me at em! Even if they remove my other limbs I will just wiggle my way over to them and chew them to death!
Tsuru: We should have put you down years ago.
Nobody Likes Akainu
Sengoku: It's a miracle, it's a miracle only a god could accomplish, everyone has been healed!
Tsuru: Not everyone, Akainu is still bleeding out in his crater.
Everyone looks as Asia
Asia: I don't like the red shirt man, I don't know who he is but I don't like him. Everyone: Yeah that's fair.
Light-Kun's Death Aftermath
Sengoku: What do you mean Kizaru is dead?!
Tsuru: I mean he's dead, he died in his sleep, we went to check him in his room when he didn't show up earlier today and he's just lying there dead.
Sengoku: Could it have been Shin? We still don't know just what his Devil Fruit can do, killing someone in their sleep is well within his power after all the stunts he's pulled.
Tsuru: Unlikely, Kizaru has not done anything in the past to antagonize Shin and Shin rarely if ever kills unless it's necessary, just look at Akainu, he's the one who made Shin what he is today and he's still alive, even if he's half-dead and on life support.
Sengoku: So Kizaru just died from natural causes?
Tsuru: That's the most likely cause no matter how low the probability is, one doctor suggested that Kizaru was actually supposed to die a long time ago, but his Devil Fruit allowed him to outrun death itself, at least until he lost his Devil Fruit and Shin activated his own.
Sengoku: This is absurd.
Tsuru: Oh please, this is par for course now, we get crushed by a 17 year old and his group of monsters and have our sins dragged out to be shown to the whole world, what's an Admiral dying randomly
Marineford 2: Religious Boogaloo
Sengoku: Tsuru, what am I looking at?
Tsuru: It's the blueprints for the new Marineford.
Sengoku: I can see that, but why does it look more like a temple rather than a military base- hold on, those statues, don't tell me-
Tsuru: I'm afraid so, it turns out a new religion has propped up surrounding Shin and his group, with not only most of our marines but civilians being part of it too.
Sengoku: God of Death, Goddess of Death, Goddess of Blades, Goddess of Water, Goddess of Strength, Goddess of Lightning, Goddess of Light? We are supposed to be a police force not a church, why was this even brought up to me?!
Tsuru: Because over half of our marines are on the verge of mutiny, a lot of countries too, our reputation is at rock bottom. Whether they are disgusted by our actions or believe we no longer have the strength to protect them, they have started breaking off to join the revolutionaries. The other Vice-Admirals and even Admiral Aokiji approved of the idea of using Shin's reputation as a way to repair ours, claiming he had come to make us repent for our past sins and turn us into better people. It will also allow us to mold the religion to our liking while it's still in formation, better to strike while the iron is hot so to speak and since there's no way we can stop this we might as well control it. Hopefully by using Marineford as the new hub of the religion, we can use it as common grounds to repair our relationships with the countries and their people. You can still decline as Fleet Admiral but be warned it would be very unpopular and we will not get another chance like this.
Sengoku: Do you approve of this?
Tsuru: Personally no, but what I do know is that the brat is at least somewhat humble and he won't touch civilians, let him be hounded by his fame and hordes of civilians asking for his "blessings".
Sengoku: Causing him trouble in a way he can't retaliate violently? I like it, approved.
What Actually Happened
Walter: Akainu Sir, we have checked everyone in the village but there's nobody that looks even remotely like the Pirate Captain we are hunting for, nobody in disguise, hiding any features or acting out of place. I think the info we received was incorrect and the pirates were never here. Akainu: Hmm very well, if we leave now we might be able to find them before they escape even further, prepare for-
?: Sakazuki-Kun, Sakazuki-Kun...
Akainu: What, who's speaking to me!?
?: Who am I? Don't you remember crying after coming back from your first mission and killing your first pirate? Don't you remember catching sight of a pink rose on the side of the walk, plucking it and deciding to have it as part of your outfit, to never forget why you kill, so as to protect this beautiful world as symbolized by that rose?
Akainu: How do you know that!? ?: I have been with you ever since then, I have watched and listened to your struggles as you cried your heart out alone whenever you hear the sins of the pirates. But now thanks to your powerful spirit for justice, I am finally able to communicate with you.
Akainu: No, that's impossible, FLOWER-SAN!?
Flower-San: Yes it is me, I have been with you all this time, and as you have helped take care of me all of these years, so too shall I help you in ensuring justice. Akainu: Flower-San…
Flower-San: Do not be afraid, Sakazuki-Kun, for no matter what we do, a brighter future will await us all. But for that to happen, we must eliminate all the pirates who would dare darken this future, and as such, you must eliminate everyone in this village, so that no pirates can escape to wreak havoc elsewhere. Akainu: Yes, you are correct, Flower-San, for justice…
Walter: Is something wrong Sir? You were just staring at nothing.
Akainu: Everything's just fine Ensign, but there's been a change of plans, while we cannot find the captain, some of his more inconspicuous crewmates could be hiding in this village, as such, we will be wiping everyone out just to be sure!
Walter: But Sir we already made sure none of them were-
Akainu: You dare defy the will of Flower-San Ensign!?
Walter: Wha- whos Flower-San?
Akainu: Disrespecting him too!? That's it, I CAST FIST!
FIST THROUGH THE HEART
This Is Getting Out of Hand! Now There Are Two of Them!
Kuroka: Wait, are you basically telling me that my Truth-Seeking Balls are basically the Power of Destruction but better?
Shin: I guess in terms of utility they are strictly better since they can do more, but yeah you can basically go flinging out balls of destruction if you wanted to.
-Timeskip, DxD Peace Conference Attack-
Kuroka: NYAHAHAHA, DIE TRASH! FEEL MY TRUTH-SEEKING ANNIHILATION BOMBARDMENT!
Rias: Hey Shin, I'm not that bad when I go into battle right?
Shin: Uh no? Maybe if you were to get some sort of powerful new form you would act like this, like you becoming a Shipgirl or a God of Destruction.
Rias: Hmm a God of Destruction? Now I wish for a random skill orb to be able to roll for that.
Shin: Don't get your hopes up, the chances for it is probably less than 1 in a trillion, you would become a person who can easily destroy planets on a whim after all.
Rias: True but a girl can wish right?
Wish Fulfilled
Rias: Hey Shin, that orb on that table just broke when I touched it and now I feel weird.
Shin: Huh? Oh shit that was the random skill orb I forgot to put away, what did you get?
Rias: Oh well I felt my Mana and Power of Destruction increase in strength by over nine thousand times. I feel like I can destroy the world!
Shin: Wait, your Power of Destruction grew by how much?!
Rias: I also have this urge to destroy something, preferably this whole planet, and then maybe a couple more afterwards.
Shin: Wait wait, destroy planets!? Ah shit I think I know what you got.
Rias: I also have this inkling to destroy your anal hole with a huge strapon. Please Shin, will you allow me to peg you
Shin: Yeah it's likely the case you became a God of Des- sorry what was that last part?
Rias: Well I didn't hear a no, please bend over Shin, I will try and make this as gentle as possible for your first time.
Shin: HEY WAIT, I DIDN'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS!
Rias: Silly Shin! I'm now a God of Destruction and as such I now have divine duties and first up on the list will be your asshole!
Shin: NOOOOOOOO!
The One True Gamer
Rias: Hey Shin, that orb on that table just broke when I touched it and now I see all these weird names and numbers everywhere, and what's this about you being level 400 or something?
Shin: Huh, I didn't think that skill orb would have turned you into a Gamer, I guess it's alright to reveal to you my deepest secret. The truth is that I am a Gamer, I have a sentient Gamer System that basically turns reality into a game for me which is how I am able to do all the insane stuff I am able to do.
Rias: Wow, that explains so much. Hey since I am your junior how about helping me out? I think it was called powerleveling?
Shin: Sure thing, I can't wait to show you the ropes, I doubt you will reach my level anytime soon but it can't hurt to start now.
-Later-
Rias: Thanks a lot for powerleveling me Shin! That was so much fun! Shin: Monster…you're a bloody monster…
Rias: Surely I'm not that bad?
Shin: Over level 9000, all in a few days and from abusing a few bugs and loopholes… can't believe your system allowed you to keep everything you got from exploiting too…
Rias: Yeah it was amazing, I am so powerful now that I can crack this world in two! Shame that they patched all the exploits I found. If only I had more time, then I could have gotten even stronger!
Shin: Stronger!? I saw you killed a being on par with Great Red with a flick of your finger! The Chaos Gods in the Warhammer dungeon fucking ran in terror from you! And you got to become that powerful because you keep running into the most absurd exploits possible! Like how do you skip grinding thousands of levels and duped your loot by dabbing on a defeated boss! How!? What kind of glitch needs you to do that and why the hell did you even think of doing that!
Rias: I uhh… I watched a couple of glitched Elden Ring speedruns?
Shin: Right that's it, I'm no longer the protagonist of this story, you can go gather a harem and save the world and all that shit for me, I'm just gonna lay in bed and play Genshin Impact instead.
Sengoku's Secret Weapon
Roger: Actually before I go, there is one thing I need you to do Shin, call it one of those Dio pranks.
Shin: I'm listening…
- Sengoku: Another day, another disaster. Damm World Nobles can't keep themselves from causing some sort of mess for a day-
Roger: Hey Sengoku, how's it going?!
Sengoku: EEP!
Roger: Wahahaha! You still make that noise when you get surprised, guess there's something even age can't change.
Sengoku: YOU!? HOW? No… this must be some sort of trick! An illusion or a shapeshifter!
Roger: Wahaha! Oh come now Sengoku, surely you must realize I am too similar to the original to be a fake? Unless you forgot what my laugh sounds like? I am more than willing to help jog your memory, it seems like you could use a break after all.
Sengoku: Well it doesn't matter what you are! You think I did not spend my time preparing for this sort of thing you spawn of Dio!? I have already activated the Den Den Mushi to bring in my new secret weapon! Who you gonna call?!
Garp, Tsuru, Zephyr: Diobusters! If there's something strange, in your marine base. Who you gonna call? Diobusters!
Roger: What… I know its been a while but I cant believe you all already turned senile.
Tsuru: Silence Devil! We will banish your foulness back into the abyss! Feel the holy waters of Mary Geoise! Go Holy Geoise Grenade!
Roger: Oh great now I'm soaking wet, well this hasn't been as fun as I thought. Whatever, I will be seeing you guys in the afterlife either way, Roger out.
Sengoku: Hes- hes gone? It actually works! The Holy Geoise Grenade works! Quickly we must make production a priority! I want every marine force armed with them!
-Later- Shin / Dio: What the fuck is this, why are the marines just lobbing water grenades at me? It's doing nothing but making me wet. Whatever screw this, I got what I came for and I'm way too horny to deal with this shit.
Marines: We did it! We banished Dio! Praise the Holy Geoise Grenade!
Useless Goddess
Shin: Please Game! I can't take it anymore! Please turn it off or get rid of it!
Game: You know I can't do that Shin, but since you keep insisting on it, while I can't directly get rid of it, I know someone who can.
Rias: Have no fear for Rias is here!
Shin: Rias?! But you're different?!
Rias: That would be because I am not your Rias, instead I am a Rias from an alternate timeline that became a DBZ God of Destruction from using your skill orb. Your wish for something to be destroyed was so strong that I managed to hear it from a couple of timelines over! You wish to no longer hear the voices of the world correct? Well with my Divine Power of Destruction there is nothing I can't erase!
Shin: Oh yes please! I can't fucking take the voices anymore, their all so fucking annoying! Everything that has magic in it has a voice and I can't block them out without also shutting off all my other senses! I don't want to hear chairs talk about who farted and what each smells like! I don't want to hear about some ugly pirates' secret furry paw fetish! I just want to be able to go to fucking sleep without my bed making some cringe pun every minute!
Rias: Very well then, by my Divine Right as a God of Destruction, I hereby relieve you of your burden, DIVINE ERASER!
Shin: The voices?! I can no longer hear them! You removed my- wait what exactly did you remove?! Why don't I remember?!
Rias: Whoopsie, i'm still a bit new to this Goddess thing, I think I erased a bit too much and removed [REDACTED] from existence rather than just your ability.
Shin: Rias… somethings happening, I can feel my memories of the One Piece world changing, just what exactly did you do?!
Rias: Uhh my bad? I guess [REDACTED] was a bit more important to world history than I thought. After it got wiped from the past, present and future, history is altering to fix the holes in the timeline now.
Shin: Well the world is certainly different but the situation is still salvageable, I just need to-
Rias: Have no fear Shin! All I have to do is to simply go back in time and erase your wish! That way I won't be called here and the paradox will resolve itself!
Shin: Wait wait wait that sounds like a terrible idea! No stop don't do- POP
Rias: Oh, I think I messed up somewhere. Shin: You think?! How the hell did you manage to turn me into a girl?!
Rias: Yeah funny story… turns out timelines are a complicated matter and temporal manipulations tend to backfire, who would have guessed huh?
Shin: I'm getting flashbacks to a certain useless Goddess of Water along with the urge to pinch your cheeks till you repent!
Rias: No it's fine I can still- YEOW! Shiwn pwease stwop, wit hwurts!
RiasColle
Shin: Hey Rias, look what I got!
Rias: A Devil Fruit, and a pretty powerful one, what's it called?
Shin: Human Human Fruit, Model: Pluton
Rias: Pluton?! I thought you made that up!
Shin: Yes I did, but this isn't named after Pluto, the Death God, but Pluton the Ancient Weapon.
Rias: The Ancient Weapon? The Battleship!?
Shin: Yup, so how would you like to become the first ever Shipgirl whose weapons are fueled by the Power of Destruction?
-Timeskip, DxD Peace Conference Attack-
Rias: HAHAHA, DIE TRASH! FEEL MY ANNIHILATION ARTILLERY BOMBARDMENT!
Azazel: Sirzechs… your sister is pretty scary.
Sirzechs: I know, I'm scared too.
Azazel: Yeah she is- Sirzechs is that a bon-
Sirzechs: Finish that sentence and I will erase your face.
World Idiots
Marine: Fleet Admiral! We have just received an arrest warrant!
Sengoku: Let me guess, those idiots at the top are putting an arrest warrant out for Shin even though we are completely outclassed by him?
Marine: N-no Sir, rather it's an arrest warrant for- for Admiral Aokij!
Sengoku: WHAT!? EXPLAIN THIS NOW!
Marine: S-sir, the World Nobles claim that Admiral Aokiji is a traitor that worked with Dio by giving him information on how to rob Mary Geoise and infiltrate Marineford!
Sengoku: WHAT, HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH SUCH A RIDICULOUS IDEA!? Wait… surely they aren't that stupid!?
Marine: I'm afraid sir it was likely due to Dio's "dog chasing a bike" statement and they connected it to Aokiji's use of a bike to travel.
Sengoku: Dio was right… Marine: I'm sorry sir? Sengoku: DIO WAS FUCKING RIGHT! ALL THOSE FUCKING SCHEMERS! SINCE THEIR PLANS GO TO SHIT, RATHER THAN TRY AND FIX THEIR MISTAKES THEY PLAN ANOTHER BRAIN HAIRED SCHEME TO TRY AND SAVE FACE! AND THEY TARGET THE ONE REMAINING ACTIVE ADMIRAL WE HAVE LEFT! NOT CARING ABOUT HIS DECADES OF SERVICE, ALL FROM AN ANALOGY!
Marine: S-sir, please calm down, what should we do? Sengoku: Bring him in here, I have an idea for him. –
Aokiji: You called for me Fleet Admiral? Sengoku: Yes I did, I believe you have heard about your arrest warrant?
Aokiji: I did, I didn't think they would hate me that much that they would do something like this.
Sengoku: Regardless of the reason, this might be a golden opportunity. Officially, you have escaped on a Marine Battleship with a crew of traitorous Marines and are heading to join under Shin. Unofficially you will be sent off with a crew of Marines who are on the verge of leaving the Marines but still wishes to do good in the world. I know you never liked the things the World Government did and now that you are essentially kicked out, I hope you can have a new beginning working under Shin. I may not like the brat, too arrogant and too much of an attention whore, but I know that your ideals will fit under him.
Aokiji: I'm assuming I will also be gaining intel on him?
Sengoku: That too, but most importantly you will also serve as a symbol of reformation for the Marines. I suspect it's only a matter of time before a civil war breaks out, the World Nobles are angry and since they lack the power to lash out at Shin or Dio, they are lashing out at us for our perceived "failures". Now it's only a matter of preserving our strength, the World Government is finished, their power, reputation, wealth and even basic common sense are at the lowest since their formation. With our inability to stop Dio and Shin and his crew shown to the whole world, it's only a matter of the dominos falling.
Aokiji: Arara, that's quite the traitorous thoughts you have going on there, but it's nonetheless true, so when do I leave?
Sengoku: In two days, pack up everything you need and prepare a ship and a crew. I will also prepare a small ceremony for the Marines to wave you off. It's the least I can do for your years of service for you are still a hero to the Marines.
Tsundere Swordsmen
Mihawk: Shin, finally it is time for our duel! Bring out your sword!
Shin: Uh right sorry, I was in the middle of testing a new artifact I received, mind if I use it in our spar for the time being?
Mihawk: Is that a sword sheath? You are going to duel me with a sword sheath!? Hmph, if it were anyone else I would have been insulted! No matter, I will just have to force you to bring out your sword! Now prepare yourself, for I will not hold back! Kokuto Issen! –
Shin: Hmm, good to know all my perks work even with a sword sheath, not that it's very useful except in emergencies, I mean who would use a sword sheath as their main weapon?
Mihawk: Crushed, by someone who has been using a sword only for a few months with a sword sheath. It seems I am the one that needs to be taught. But… Hmm I think I understand now, thank you for teaching me this lesson Shin-Sama Sensei.
Shin: Hmm yes it was a good due- sorry what was that last part?
Mihawk: To become the very best swordsman, I must first learn to use all of a sword, even its sheath which I have neglected to do. Please Shin-Sama Sensei, take and hold my Yoru for I am currently unworthy of wielding it. I will only return to wield it once again, when I become the greatest sword sheath user in the world.
Shin: Uh right you do you, I will hold onto your sword for now I guess, I can at least guarantee that it will be safe with me. –
Zoro: Mihawk, finally it is time for our rematch! Bring out your sword!
Mihawk: I am sorry to disappoint you Zoro but I do not have my personal sword with me and am training to fight with a sword sheath so that I may better myself.
Zoro: A sword sheath? You are going to duel me with a sword sheath!? Hmph, if it were anyone else I would have been insulted! No matter, I will just have to force you to bring out a sword! Now prepare yourself, for I will not hold back! Senhachiju Pound Ho! –
Shin: Hey Zoro ready for more training? Hey wait, where are your swords?
Zoro: To become the very best swordsman, I must first learn to use all of a sword, even its sheath which I have neglected to do. Which is why I have abandoned swords until I become the greatest sword sheath user in the world. If you are worried I will hold you all back do not be, for I have developed a new style, my Three Sword Sheath Style!
Shin: What the fuck is wrong with these Tsundere Swordsmen? There better not be anymore of this. –
Kiba: Shin-Sama! I have evolved my Sacred Gear to be able to summon sword sheaths! Thank you so much for your training!
Shin: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Why You Shouldn't Do Drugs (Or Maybe You Should?)
Sakuya: Master Shin, there has been a security dispute at the border, shall I go resolve it?
Shin: No, not just yet. I got some free time, what is it about?
Sakuya: A delivery from the Mink Tribe triggered the scanning wards for drugs. The delivery was for Kuroka, the Minks were insistent that the delivery was nothing more than a tribute for "The One Who Nyaas Among Us". The delivery contained a multitude of objects, toys, meat and the specified drug which was some rare magical herb.
Shin: Huh, toys, meat, and herbs… Wait a second, are those cat toys, cat food and catnip?! Wow that seems kind of racist now that I think about it. Regardless, this is just a little misunderstanding. I doubt the herb is actually harmful, just bring a bunch of it up here and I will analyze them just to be sure.
Sakuya: At once Master. Shin: Hmm actually, I haven't used my Neoshou-form all that much now have I. This could be a good test, perhaps I can get drug resistance from it.
Later
Rias: Hey Shin, are you in there? Its past dinner time and you haven't shown-
Shin: WIAS! Rias: Shin?! Shin: I wuv you wias nyaa, you smeww so nyice nyaa. Y-Y-Youw bewbs and haiw are so s-soft and so wed that you shouwd be nyamed gweat wed nyaa!
Rias: Uhh whaaa? Wait, are those drugs on the table?! This is certainly something, actually… Alexa, begin recording!
Alexa: Affirmative, beginning recording.
Rias: And after the recording ends, send the video to everyone in the harem!
Alexa: Affirmative, send the video to everyone afterwards.
Later
Shin: BWAHHHH I WANT TO DIEEEEEE!
Rias: There there Shin, it's not that bad.
Shin: The whole world saw the video! It would be harder to find someone who hasn't! From the poorest kid to the strongest admiral, why I bet even Roger saw it and he's dead! My rep is ruined, they saw me act and play like an actual cat! And I still can't believe you used your boobs to swing that toy around for me to catch!
Rias: Well I think it's actually a good thing, if you intend to interact with people later then showing yourself to be laidback and human rather than some sort of all powerful god would help keep people at ease. A terrifying reputation is useful but with most threats gone from the world it isn't necessary anymore.
Shin: I guess you're right.
Rias: Mmmhmm, say what do you think about doing this again? Just us and maybe a couple of the girls, maybe you could turn us into catgirls too and we could join in the fun.
Shin: Ah what the hell, why not, maybe next week then.
The Ultimate Battle of The World
Shin: Sakuya, cast time stop on Im now!
Im: HA! You think your little time tricks can stop me?! I have already stopped your time stop with my own time stop!
Sakuya: Then I will simply charge my time stop so your time stop can't time stop my time stop!
Im: Oh your good, I will give you that, but I have already countered that! I erase the time of which you have stopped, you cannot stop which no longer exists!
Sakuya: Do you think I am some one dimensional maid?! I have many more tricks up my skirt! I activate temporal replacement, allowing me to replace the missing time that you erased with an alternate timeline!
Im: HA, denied! I reverse the polarity of the timeflow of your alternate timeline, now it is out of sync and is useless to you!
Sakuya: Well then I speed up the timeflow so it matches your reversal exactly, giving me back control of that timeline!
Im: You think I did not see this coming?! I already used precognition and know all your moves before you even make them! Now I shall-
Shin: …You know what, I think I will come back later.
Sea Kings Are People Too!
Sakuya: Master, it's an emergency! We are facing a rebellion!
Shin: What, who?!
Sakuya: The Sea Kings are on strike and they are led by Princess Shirahoshi! Shin: I'm sorry, could you repeat that again?!
Sakuya: The Sea Kings are protesting that they deserve to be paid for their work ever since they helped move Fish-Man Island and then started hunting pirates. They also demand there be a worker's union alongside health benefits, dental plan and vacation days. They also want a relaxation centre to be opened for them where they can get their scales cleaned, drink alcohol and be able to watch anime.
Shin: Union?! Alcohol?! Anime?! How do the Sea Kings even know and want these things?! And Shirahoshi?! She's an Asia! There's no way she would do this unless someone tells them to- Wait, didn't she say she had met someone last week? There's only one person who could have done this! DRAGONNNNNNNNNNNN!
-Elsewhere—
Dragon: Shove all the paperwork and revolutions onto me will you? Let's see how you like some of it.
Akeno the Bully
Katerea: No, it's not true! I am a Leviathan! I am I am I am!
Akeno: Ha! If you're a Leviathan then I am a Seraph. Look at what Ingvild can do, compared to that you're nothing but a worthless failure! How old are you even? What too busy whining about being a loser to achieve anything? Why I pity anyone who ever has to put up with you. Not only tha-
Katerea: Sniff sniff BWAHHHHHHHHHH! Akeno: Ara? Katerea: IT'S TRUEEEEE, I AM A FAILURE! I SPENT CENTURIES AND MY FAMILY'S FORTUNE AND I ONLY GOT TO THIS LEVEL! I JUST WANTED LOVE AND APPROVAL! BUT I AM TOO PATHETIC TO DESERVE ANY OF IT!
Rias: Wow Akeno, you were supposed to demoralize them, not break them so hard that it's like kicking a downed puppy. Hey there there, no need to cry anymore. Tell you what, why don't you come with us for some hot chocolate and maybe we can teach you a couple of things?
Akeno: Huh whaa? But- but, Rias, she's the enemy! We were trying to kill each other!
Rias: Now now, Akeno, she's just been born in a bad crowd, we can rehabilitate her.
Akeno: Your just being lenient because its another girl for Shin to fuck isnt it!?
Rias: We haven't reached our auntie MILF quota yet, the readers are ever horny and we must always keep ahead of their needs.
Ophis' Infinite Crisis
Rias: Damn that was a close one, True Longinus is such a hax weapon. Fortunately I don't think it hit anybody, just the mansio-
Shin: EVERYONE GET INTO COVER AND ON THE GROUND NOW!
Rias: What? Wh-
Ophis: WHOOOOOOO DARESSSS! MY SILENCE! MY GAMEBOY! MY C̴O̴O̴O̶O̶O̴O̴K̷I̶E̸S̵S̶S̶S̸S̷S̷S̵S̸S̷!̸!̶!̸!̷!̴ {[I̷͓̕ ̵͗͜N̸̡͂ ̴̗̆F̶̦̔ ̴̧͝Ï̶̻ ̴͓̌N̷͕̕ ̷̯̍I̴̯̽ ̶̺̌T̶̫̆ ̵̯̈́E̶̮͗ ̸̧̆ ̴̛͜T̵̘͠ ̷͎̏Õ̷̠ ̷̌ͅR̵̳͋ ̴̯̑Ḿ̸̗ ̶͎̌Ȇ̸̜ ̷̧͑N̶̮̄ ̶͕̃T̸̞͠]}
-Later-
Sirzechs: Right, now that the kids have been put to bed and our pants have been changed, please Ajuka, would you like to explain to the rest of the peace conference attendees what Ophis did.
Ajuka: Very well, according to my hypothesis (which are never wrong), Ophis breached the boundaries between dimensions and connected to every version of herself whether it be from alternate timelines or parallel worlds. Every possible variation of herself then tore their variant of Cao Cao from existence and trapped him in an infinite time loop where he suffers every possible and impossible torture. He is unable to die, forever in pain that he will never get used to. Left behind are time echos, flesh ghosts that look like and follow the original's actions but are in truth without free will so as to maintain the flow of time.
Sirzechs: Thank you Ajuka, now all in favour of giving Shin an infinite budget to keep Ophis fed, entertained and most importantly happy at the very least towards us? All in favour? Good. Now if you excuse me I am going to empty the Underworld of all its alcoholic drinks so I can sleep tonight and not have to think about the implications of what Ophis did.
Serafall Asserts Dominance
Azazel: Serafall… What are you doing?
Serafall: I have already explained to you, I am using my Conqueror's Will upon the enemy so as to incapacitate them.
Azazel: Yes yes I can see them dropping like flies as soon as they enter your range, but is having your arms outstretched horizontally to your sides necessary?
Serafall: SILENCE FOOL, I AM ASSERTING MY DOMINANCE UPON THE PLEBS!
The Ultimate Ragnarok Battle
Shin: Oh shit, Fenrir, Loki and Dragon King clones? This might be a tough battle, at least the cannon fodder are moving away from the coming duel, as long as there's no other surprises they should be able to handle thi-
Loki: Ladies and Gentlemen! Are you all ready to ROCK!? Shin: The fuck!?
Loki: On one side, we have our reigning champion of Ragnarok, God Killer Fenrir and the Wolves of Asgard! Enemy Fodder: WOOOOOOOOOO! Loki: And on the other side, the challengers seeking to take away his crown, Morgiana, Koneko and Tsubaki as the Pussycat Girls!
Enemy Fodder: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Rossweisse: I can't believe this, we've been outmanoeuvred! They have an audience biased towards them while we don't! Dulio! Bring out all the elements, I'm going to shove all the lifeforce I have collected into them to make our own audience!
Dulio: Sigh, just what has my life become? Inevitable blah blah blah of the end.
Rossweisse: COME ON HOMIES, SUPPORT OUR GIRLS!
Homie Fodder: WOOOOOOOOOO!
Loki: Now that introductions are over, let's get this Ragnarok Battle started!
Shin: Rias, what the fuck is going on?
Rias: Huh? What do you mean, it's just a Ragnarok Battle?
Shin: What do you mean it's just a Ragnarok Battle?! Wasn't Ragnarok supposed to be the eternal cycle of the end and rebirth for the Norse Pantheon?! What is this?! Are they about to have a dance battle?! Where are the lights and smoke even coming from?!
Rias: Cycle of rebirth? You mean the false version of Ragnarok that the humans have? Ragnarok is just a massive party the Norse throw every couple of centuries and Ragnarok Battles are pretty much a song and dance battle. Though the battles usually become very destructive as is the case with drunk gods and it tends to end with Asgard in rubble, which is why the event only happens every few centuries.
Shin: But Fenrir has the God Killer title!
Rias: Silly Shin, Fenrir has never killed a God, he's a good boy. At most he used them as chew toys. He's called God Killer in the same vein as ladykiller and he's the reigning champion because he has an amazing singing voice and the sickest moves. Personally I think he's cheating because people just can't help but be distracted by the need to pet his soft fur.
Shin: But he's a wolf! How well could he possibly sin-
Fenrir & Wolves of Asgard: AH-AH AHWOOOOOO! We come from the land of the ice and snow- From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow! Shin: You've got to be kidding me…
Rias: Damn Fenrir can truly sing, looks like our Pussycat Girls are in for a tough battle.
Shin: Yeah right there's no way they are going to join in this, once they break out of their confusion and start attacking we can continue the-
Pussycat Girls: We're shouting oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! For the glory oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! Hey, if you wanna win, you've gotta play it smart- Nothing left to chance, the wise will take it all!
Shin: What. The. Fuck.
Rias: That's it girls! Go and take the crown home!
Shin: You know what fuck this, i'm joining Ophis in the room of silence till the outside world starts making sense again.
-Inside-
Ophis: I'm a dragon girl, in a dragon world!
Shin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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