Scene 1: Watchtower Assembly Hall – Day 25
Elias hijacks the emergency meeting room.
Every League member is summoned by an automated "world-ending crisis" ping.
They rush in.
Instead of burning skies or alien invasions...
They see this:
A huge glowing sign projected across the ceiling:
🏆 Welcome to the First Annual Justice League Disappointment Awards! 🏆
Hosted by: Elias "I'm Still Nerfed and You're Still Mad" Black.
Spotlights flash. Confetti explodes. Elias walks on stage wearing a golden cape, sunglasses, and sipping juice out of Wonder Woman's tiara.
Elias (grinning at the crowd):
"Ladies, gents, fish people, Martians, and emotionally unavailable billionaires…"
"Tonight we celebrate the very best of the very worst.
The moments you wish Batman erased from the files.
Moments so awkward, even Darkseid laughed."
Batman (growling): "Shut. This. Down."
Elias:
"Not before we honor your legendary failures, Brucey."
🏆 Category 1: "Most Dramatic Cape Flare"
Nominees:
• Batman (37 flares during rooftop monologues)
• Superman (Cape flapped for 14 minutes in a speech no one asked for)
• Martian Manhunter (Flaunted cape inside someone's dream)
Winner: Batman.
Elias (accepting on Bruce's behalf):
"To the man who whispers in the dark and dresses like a bat to work through deep-rooted abandonment issues... this one's for you."
Batman (to Diana): "I'm going to kill him."
Diana (smirking): "Get in line."
🏆 Category 2: "Most Pointless Monologue"
Nominees:
• Wonder Woman ("I once fought Ares in slow motion... for seven minutes.")
• Aquaman ("My father was a lighthouse keeper." x47)
• Superman ("I'm not a god... I'm just better than everyone.")
Winner: Aquaman.
Elias (mock weeping):
"For the man who turned backstory into bedtime stories, congratulations!
Next time, include a musical."
Arthur (growling): "I swear I will skewer you—"
Elias:
"Careful. Glitter still in your gills from last week?"
🏆 Category 3: "Most Forgotten by Plot"
Nominees:
• Cyborg (Was he even in this scene?)
• Martian Manhunter (Saw everything. Did nothing.)
• Green Lantern (…where is he?)
Winner: Martian Manhunter.
Elias (turning to J'onn):
"You're like the ghost of exposition.
You pop up just to frown and vanish.
You've said fewer words than Batman smiled."
J'onn (stoically): "You are unbearable."
Elias:
"Correct.
Also: undefeated."
🏆 Category 4: "Biggest Emotional Breakdown During Combat"
Nominees:
• Superman (punched a mountain because of mom trauma)
• Flash (tripped, cried, then reset time)
• Batman (yelled "I'm vengeance" to a pigeon)
Winner: Flash.
Elias (clutching his stomach laughing):
"Barry, bro… you cried mid-run.
You literally snotted into the Speed Force.
That's impressive."
Flash: "I WAS BLEEDING FROM SPACE."
Elias:
"Speed heals wounds… not dignity."
Scene 2: The League Loses It
Diana: "Elias, this is war."
Elias: "Correction. This is therapy. For all of us."
Superman (stepping forward):
"You make a joke of everything."
Elias (suddenly serious):
"No. I make jokes because everything else is already a joke."
"You let gods rule.
You suppress people like me.
You hide in towers and monologue justice while the world burns."
He lifts his suppression collar.
"So if I can't crush you yet…
I'll crack you from the inside."
And just like that, he winks.
System Whisper – Internal Update
[League Mental Stability: -13%]
[Public Broadcast Intercepted by 87 Multiversal Nodes]
[Council of Gods Watching: 61 Silent Observers]
[Suppression Ends in: 5 Days]
Final Scene: Elias Standing in the Spotlight
He grins. The League stares. Confused. Angry. Broken.
"See you next year, folks. Or maybe sooner."
He drops the mic.
And walks off the stage.
To thunderous silence.