Among the dwindling light sigh the city below them, the two kept on standing at the edge of it all. "I thought that you wanted to jump?" Andrew asked as he kept on looking at the person beside him. Cassie glanced at Andrew, wondering what was going through his mind.
'Is he insane? What kind of person would do such a thing and so readily at that? Maybe he wants to really take a brake from it all. Or he wants to halt my plans.' She had yet to decipher what his actual goals were but now, the more the two stood there, the more serious it seemed.
"So did those bandages help?" He went on as if the situation they were in was at a cafe. "What! I- Are you doing all of this just to prevent me from jumping?" Andrew shrugged it off. "Stopping you? I thought that we were serious with this. I'm just waiting to follow your lead is all."
'Don't take me for a fool, Andrew. I know what you're trying to do.' She mused as she glanced at the streets below. The people walking about were similar to ants and the cars like toys with their height. Her toes were already off the edge, dangling above it all.
"What is making you do this given that your life has been rather well? You have a mother, well of in studies and have friends." Andrew couldn't believe the words that were coming from her mouth. "Well in studies? Friends? Cassie, Hector isn't my friend, it's just pure circumstance that we interact. As for studies, it doesn't get any average than what I score."
The more she contemplated about it, the more she realized that he was right but he had something that she didn't, a mother. "As for my mother, I have congenital analgesia. A disease that affects my nervous system making me unable to feel anything which has a collateral with my brain, making me unable to feel anything."
Much to her surprise, he pulled out a pocket knife and without hesitation, he made a cut onto his wrist after pulling back his coat sleeve and in a matter of seconds, his skin was dyed red. The rivulets of blood fell down to the streets with his face dead throughout the ordeal.
Dropping his hands, he went on. "Thus despite even having a mother, I can't feel her love, no joy, no excitement. Only apathy making it all worthless. What was the point of going on if life would just meld and fuse together to form a grey and lifeless experience? Wouldn't it better to end it all so now, I'm more than confident with the choice that you're about to make."
Beneath her strands of blue hair that masked her face, a storm of thoughts plagued her mind as she wondered what she would say. At first she thought that he was just a regular boy who either wanted to pursue a relationship with her or at the moment try and stop her but it would seem that this wasn't the case.
'I can't let him jump just because of me.' In the end, she let out her frustration in the form of a scream, shouting into the night sky as she stepped down from the ledge. "Okay Andrew, you win! I understand what you feel but..." 'What am I going to say? That life is worth living despite me trying to end mine a few seconds ago.'
Andrew glanced at the girl who was in her own dilemma of approaching the situation. Regardless he inched his way closer to the edge. "Okay Andrew, I'm sure that there's more to it than just this. I know what I was about to do just now but don't throw your life away just because of me. I'm some nobody, background noise is all."
Andrew halted his actions as he made his way off the ledge and closer to Cassie. The girl was much more expressive than her usual self and once more, she could feel his touch on her forehead trying to shift her hair out of the way and now, he could finally see what lay beneath.
Her faint blue eyes which were dulled, just like her overall vigour. Her expression puffed up given that she was shouting moments ago and her body quivering, clear that she was underdressed.
As for Cassie, she was mesmerized with his dark obsidian eyes, as if entailing secrets that should never come to pass, his lustrous black hair which waved lightly in the night breeze and his hand on her cheek which contained warmth as she could feel the blood trail on her cheek.
'Is he going to kiss me?' She has seen such situations a million times on television and from her schoolmates however her anticipation for a kiss never came to be where she had expected.
"Chuu~" It wasn't on her lips but on her forehead. After that, he pulled back from her as he wrapped her frail figure with his dark leathery coat. She could feel her body heat up again as Andrew took his leave to which she followed him out of the roof and back into her room.
'How does he know where I live?' One of them many questions that raised in her head and would go unanswered. Andrew brought out some grocery bags that he had bought in advance and made them supper.
Given how small the room was, they had to have it in the living room which didn't bother him. "Uh? Andrew, so about that kiss." Her mind was torn on whether he had feelings for her but that would mean that he lied to her to stop or he did it out of necessity and he truly can't feel anything.
"Whether I meant it or not, I presume your question? Well it's both." Such a response wasn't exactly an answer. 'Both, with the implication that I do feel nothing but pure apathy for you but then again doing it as an experiment. To test whether it's love that can cure me from this plague of a disease.'
Sure his plans had the best interest for Cassie but it favored him more than it did with her. 'I just want to confirm whether chances fo exist and how far I can stretch this disease.' He already knew what would be the outcome of it all, all he was doing was toying with it and the reason as to why, he tried to break the monotony of his life by engaging in thrills.
'So this is what denial feels like but what is the point if I'm aware of what I'm doing? Is this not wasting my time as a whole? I already know what will be the result of this and yet out of pure delusions, I'm willing to enact this path.'
'Acting how the world around me acts, maybe I'll regain my humanity once more but then again...' His mind convoluted as his fists clenched before releasing. Cassie didn't pick up on this as she was fixed with what was going on tv. 'Why am I even trying if I know that the result will be the same in the end? I'll be plagued with this till eternity.'
Unlike a scientist who would conduct a series of experiments to gauge whether they'll be successful or not, he had all the data that he needed to know what would and what wouldn't work, lacking the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't up to pure chance to escape the hell he was in but inevitable.
He was like a man trapped in a deep hole, unable to see the surface. He knew whatever he tried wouldn't get him out so what was the point of even trying to do so. The facts were stacked against him, nothing in his arsenal despite his hands being full with knowledge and foresight. Truly a fate worse than death.
It was in hard stone and he knew it, just refusing to accept the facts that were presented to him. 'I'll just try and pretend to do what the world expects me to do.' His final conclusion as he dug into his meal. The night got extremely late however he remained awake unlike Cassie who had long fallen asleep on his lap.
He gently brushed her hair aside revealing her face which was dimly lit with the light coming from the television. He glanced at the source, trying to have at least any form of entertainment but what was the point.
He already knew what was going to happen way before it did. 'Is this not insanity? A constant repetition of it all. What is the point?' Despite the madness that had grown in his mind, it failed to amount to anything problematic. It wasn't big enough to make him go insane but not small enough to be ignored, it was a perfect amount to bother him for the rest of his life.
The television lost all of it's color before turning a vague black and white static. The sound was irritating but he could only listen and watch the madness unfold in front of him. He felt trapped in his own body, as he felt the chaos of insanity reign in his mind.
There was no escape even with the muse of emotions given that they were stripped from him. 'Through pain is one fully alive but what pain and what joy am I suppose to revel in given I am trapped inside my own husk of a body?'
Like a man trapped in a hole, all the knowledge of humanity in his hands and yet all worthless in getting him out of his predicament.